The decision to separate and divorce is nearly always distressing, challenging and sad. Difficult transitions must be made, emotions managed, children co-parented and financial realities addressed. All happening at a time when couples are not at their best. Rational thought and common sense are frequent casualties. As a result, mistakes can be made that can later turn into regrets.
During my 30 years of practice as a divorce solicitor and family mediator in Bath and Bristol, I have educated my clients on the following strategies to help them cope more effectively with divorce and move forward with hopefulness and integrity.
1. Learn about the different options for divorce so you can make informed and good decisions. Divorce Court litigation is not inevitable. There are a range of process methods that can help you to maintain control throughout the process and minimise conflict, expense and time.
2. Do not position your divorce as an end to your family. Divorce does not end a family it merely changes it. It’s important for children to know they still have a family. They need and have a right to love both parents. Research on the effects of divorce on children has shown that it is not the divorce but the way you divorce that impacts children. Parents who learn how to work together for the sake of their children have a better outcome.
3. Understand that divorce will affect your emotions. Many divorcing couples feel hurt, anxious, fearful, depressed and more, these emotions are normal in divorce and can affect behaviour. You may become pettier, meaner and angrier than you ever imagined. Support from professionals, including divorce coaches is available to help you manage your emotions.
4. Focus on your future. Divorce is not a transactional event, it will affect the rest of your life. A settlement given careful consideration will be more satisfactory and last longer. Actions taken and the decisions made will define your future for years to come. Focus on what you want the future to look like and take actions to move you toward that vision. It may not seem like it today, however with the right mind set and support team, you will experience new joys in life.
The family solicitors at Sharp Family Law represents many separating and divorcing clients who want to protect important relationships after divorce and avoid prolonged conflict. Senior Partner Richard Sharp focuses his counsel on helping clients regain confidence to move forward from divorce with hopefulness and integrity.