"How can you have an Amicable Divorce - Whilst blaming your spouse for the breakup?"
Pop singer, Cheryl Cole’s divorce from her England football husband Ashley was finalised last week. Earlier this summer, National Newspapers reported that it would be “clean, swift, amicable and smooth”. And yet the divorce papers filed on her behalf were said to cite the reason for the breakup of the marriage as being Ashley Cole's "unreasonable behaviour".
If Cheryl truly wanted an amicable and smooth divorce, Ashley may have wondered why irreconcilable differences or the like wasn’t cited as the reason for the divorce. Few like to be accused of behaving so badly that their partner cannot ‘reasonably’ be expected to live with them.
Divorce in England & Wales is based on a marriage having "broken down irretrievably”
Every so often, at my family law practice in Bath & Bristol, I am approached by clients who say they want a divorce based on "irreconcilable differences". They are in an unhappy marriage and just want to bring it to an end. I explain that it is not possible to obtain a divorce based on "irreconcilable differences" in the divorce courts of England and Wales.
Divorce in England & Wales is based on a marriage having "broken down irretrievably ". But there is a complication. This breakdown must be proved by evidencing only one of five "facts" laid down by the law. They are Adultery, Unreasonable Behaviour, Desertion, Two years’ separation with consent and Five years’ separation without consent.
Three of these methods of proof - Desertion, Two (with consent) and Five years’ separation - involve a considerable period of delay (at least two years) before a divorce is possible at all. Similarly, adultery can only be relied upon if it too has taken place. As the latest published figures (2008) from the Office of National Statistics on divorce rates in England & Wales show, this means unreasonable behaviour is the method of choice for most couples in cases where no adultery can be proved and a divorce is wanted sooner rather than later. Not a new revelation but one that has again encouraged family law practitioners to call for reform to the current divorce law
I recently worked with a husband from Bath who was separating from his wife. They had decided their marriage had irretrievably broken down. To help them work through the legal, financial and practical issues arising from their decision, they adopted the dispute resolution process known as Collaborative Law Practice. At a face to face meeting between them, her collaborative family solicitor and I, we discussed how to prove that the marriage had irretrievably broken down for the purposes of a divorce. The lawyers helped the husband and the wife together draft allegations of the unreasonable behaviour that were not unnecessarily confrontational and yet fulfilled the requirements of a District Judge sitting in the Bath Divorce Court. A task not so easily done at a distance
Despite the apparent fault based divorce process, the approach of collaborative law enabled this divorcing couple to meet their goal and achieve an amicable divorce.
My practice, at Sharp Family Law in Bath and Bristol, is devoted to helping separating and divorcing couples to find creative solutions to their issues, which with the help and support of the required professional at an affordable cost, are crafted by them - and not the divorce courts. For a free copy of “A Client’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce” contact me, Richard Sharp on +44 (0)1225 870336 or email me at richard@sharpfamilylaw.com
THERE MAY NOT BE AN ALTERNATIVE TO DIVORCE BUT THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE WAY YOU DIVORCE
Having practiced as a solicitor in the specialised field of Family Law and Divorce Court litigation for