Family Law Collaborative Divorce Blog : Bath Divorce Solicitors : Sharp Family Law : UK Collaborative Law & Family Mediation : Bristol, Swindon & Southern England

BBC News reports today that both marriage and divorce can trigger weight gain. This is the finding of research being presented at the American Sociological Association. Their study of 10,071 people from 1986 to 2008 showed that there is an increased risk of piling on the pounds in the two years after a marriage starts or ends.

Newly-divorced women and men had between 21% and 22% increased risk of a small weight gain after divorce. The report concludes: "All marital transitions act as a weight shock, encouraging small weight gains regardless of the destination marital state."

In my practice as a family and divorce solicitor in Bath and Bristol, UK, I witness clients, going through the significant transitions brought about by divorce, including stressing over having to find alternative accommodation, stretching finite finances resources, and strained contact with friends and families. Divorce is one of the most intense stressors and it can lead to disturbed sleep, reduced exercise and poor diet

To try and reduce those personal, financial and legal stresses, I encourage clients to consider choosing a non-adversarial approach to divorce, like Collaborative Practice or Family Mediation. Not only might that approach help them achieve reasoned settlements but it could be healthier for them, than a positional, adversarial Divorce Court hearing.

But away from the Divorce Court clients still need to be good to themselves. In her article Nine Tips for Taking Care of Yourself During and After Divorce, Cathy Meyer relationship coach and divorce mediator encourages clients to see their doctor regularly, take vitamins, get regular exercise and plenty of sleep, let off steam, change the scenery, practice good hygiene as well as eating a good diet. All perhaps obvious actions but quickly and easily forgotten or ignored in times of significant life transitions.

As the research above highlights a divorce can stretch waistlines. But by taking care of oneself, by focusing on keeping active and healthy, by choosing a constructive process like collaborative practice that focuses on settlement and reduces conflict, it is possible to minimise the damaging effects of divorce and move on with life without too many extra pounds.

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Those amongst us who are divorced or widowed could suffer 20% more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than those who are married. This statistic comes from research published in the September 2009 issue of the Journal of Health & Social Behaviour.

The research of 8,652 men and women in their 50s and early 60s in the US, found that the physical stress of marital loss continues long after the emotional wounds have healed. While this does not mean that people should stay married at all costs, it does show that the soon to be and newly divorced need to be especially vigilant about stress management and exercise.

In my practice as a family and divorce solicitor in Bath and Bristol, UK, I witness the enormous stress clients suffer as their broken marriages come to an end. Aside from the many negative emotions surrounding the breakup like fear and anger that cause stress, there is the alternative accommodation that has to be found, the finances resources that must be stretched, the contact with friends and families that is strained or lost, and the disturbed sleep, poor diet and reduced exercise that creates the unhealthy lifestyle, all adding to stress levels. Divorce is one of the most intense stressors.

To try and reduce that stress, I encourage clients to consider choosing a non-adversarial approach to divorce, like Collaborative Practice or Family Mediation. Not only might that approach help them achieve reasoned settlements but it could be healthier for them, than a positional, adversarial Divorce Court hearing.

But away from the divorce court clients still need to be good to themselves by developing habits that reduce their stress. In her Nine Tips for Dealing with Divorce Stress Cathy Meyer relationship coach and divorce mediator suggests ways in which, during the process of divorce, stress can be handled. They include:

• Making sure you pay attention to your emotional needs
• Keeping yourself physically fit
• Participating in activities that will nurture you emotionally and physically
• Letting go of problems that are beyond your control
• Giving yourself permission to feel
• Charging your expectations
• Giving yourself time to make decisions
• Making time for fun
• And letting go

Her article Nine Tips for Taking Care of Yourself During and After Divorce also contains some useful information.

As the research above highlights a divorce can be bad for your health. But by taking care of oneself, by focusing on keeping active, healthy and moving forward and not stuck in the past, by choosing a process like collaborative practice that focuses on settlement and reduces conflict , it is possible to minimize the damaging effects of divorce and move on with life.

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